by Jane Beddall on January 31, 2008
The keynote speaker at last week’s Connecticut Business and Industry Association and UConn Family Business Program Conference was Stew Leonard, Jr. He discussed the challenges and joys of the family business, which had grown from milk trucks delivering door to door all the way to busy supermarkets in several locations. He talked about the G-1 generation (his parents), G-2 (the adult siblings), and G-3 (their teenage children) and how the family worked on a regular basis with a family business consultant. The family has even created its own guidebook of principles important to success of the business and the family.
One of his most interesting points involved communication: the need to keep it open in order to keep everyone in the loop. The game of “Telephone”, where a message works its way down the line and around a circle, is all about the good fun in the twists and turns the original message makes as it moves from one person to another. But a wildly distorted original message that secretly moves through a family or business isn’t fun — it’s a sure invitation for conflict.
by Jane Beddall on January 31, 2008
Last week, the Connecticut Business and Industry Association and the University of Connecticut Family Business Program presented their Family Business Conference. Various panelists discussed a number of issues that family businesses face — or at least that they should face and not ignore or gloss over. Some, of course, are important for any closely held business; others are unique to family businesses.
Two points stood out because they were repeated in different forms throughout the day. First, recognize explicitly that a family business is a blend of your family and your business. Both are important to you and both should be supported so that they remain healthy. Second, fair does not always mean equal. Most starkly, the consensus is clear that simply dividing control of a family business among siblings may seem equal but frequently isn’t fair.
Honoring these two points isn’t necessarily easy, but that fact makes them no less important.
by Jane Beddall on January 22, 2008
A recent report by the AARP’s Public Policy Institute, conducted with the American Bar Association Commission on Law and Aging, took a look at the guardianship process for incapacitated adults. The report highlighted innovative practices around the country, including the model guardianship court in Suffolk County, New York.
That program was also featured in a January 3 article by Laura Lane in the Herald Community Newspapers, “The second half: Growing older in Nassau County.” The article explores some of the challenges of the guardianship process and how some counties have grappled with them. As Ms. Lane points out: “Guardianship court often involves family dynamics and interactions that, at times, can turn ugly.” The Suffolk County program includes a mediator available in court.
One family described in the article used the mediator suggested by the administrative judge to help siblings agree on a guardian for their mother after one sibling had alleged that another had exercised undue influence in persuading the mother to change her power of attorney from one sibling to the other. “Mom felt nervous in the courtroom, but once we went into mediation, she was very open, and it was very evident to us how she felt. None of us would have sat in the same room and discussed this without mediation. It would have broken my mother’s heart being in court, hearing her children testify against each other.”
Mediation can help families resolve these sorts of conflicts, before or after court proceedings are begun, helping to prevent or minimize the emotional and financial damage to individuals and to families.
by Jane Beddall on January 9, 2008
… but not enough to do nothing.” That’s the concept expressed by Richard A. Lehrman, a Miami Beach attorney, in a Saturday New York Times article, “Bequeathing, With Strings Attached” by Hillary Chura. Mr. Lehrman is describing the idea that inherited wealth be used to allow the recipient to enhance his or her life but not to lapse into unhealthy sloth. The article cites a statistic provided by the Spectrem Group, a consulting firm specializing in the affluent and retirement markets, that nine million U.S. households are worth $1 million or more, excluding their primary residences.
As the title of the article suggests, many of these families are leaving significant wealth to their heirs, with an eye to influencing how an inheritance is used (or not used.) Family decisions about wealth are a prime area for conflict, stirring up all sorts of issues involving family relationships.
If only a small percentage of those nine million families anticipate or experience some conflict in the planning, announcing, and understanding phases of inheritance decisions, that’s a lot of disputes. Some will be hidden and consciously ignored, some will explode after a loved one’s death, and some will result in a slow, seething burn.
The negative impact of many of these disputes can be minimized with the help of a mediator: someone with no dog in the fight, no ax to grind — pick your favorite metaphor. The point is that taking a proactive approach to resolving the conflict with the help of a trained, neutral mediator can preserve both family relationships and family wealth.