by Jane Beddall on February 28, 2011
Last time I wrote about the new TV show “Fairly Legal” inaccurately portraying mediators (or at least, this particular star of the only TV show about mediation to date) as hating lawyers and the law. The wildly atypical glamor of this mediator’s life we can chalk up to TV, but this misconception about mediation and law is damaging.
At least one other assertion in the show is off the mark: the idea that a successful mediator is someone who hates conflict. A person who hates conflict should steer clear of a career in conflict resolution: whether litigation or some form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR).
Mediation is all about conflict and helping the parties to the conflict find a resolution to fit their needs. Some of us have found the dynamics of conflict fascinating for decades — and that makes a career in conflict resolution a very good fit for us.
by Jane Beddall on February 26, 2011
The new TV show “Fairly Legal” features a young woman mediator working in the San Francisco law firm that is being manged by her stepmother, in the wake of her father’s death. It’s TV, so beautiful locations, offices, and people are no surprise. But I do take issue with the suggestion that the main character, who previously practiced law and now practices only mediation, hates lawyers and the law. That kind of stance does a disservice to real [not fictional] mediators and mediation as a field.
Many mediators come to mediation after a stint, sometimes a long one, as lawyers. They may be keenly aware of the limitations of the judicial system and of a hidebound approach to practicing law. But the mediator who genuinely hates lawyers and law is a rarity.
A young woman who hates her widowed stepmother and boss, an attractive woman barely older than she is? That’s another story altogether.
by Jane Beddall on February 23, 2011
I was surprised and delighted that the headline of my most recent blog post, The State of Connecticut Estate Planning, was “grabbed” by a Forbes.com contributor. Check out Hani Sarji’s blog on estate planning issues and my headline on February 13 : http://blogs.forbes.com/hanisarji/headline-grabs/. The blog, “Estate of Confusion”, captures blog posts that have covered estate planning and estate tax issues.
by Jane Beddall on February 12, 2011
A few days ago, the meeting of Estates and Probate Section of the Connecticut Bar Association focused on the state of estate planning now that changes in the federal estate tax have eliminated tax planning as a motivation for estate planning for many people. The take-away message was clear: apart from tax implications, reasons abound to carefully consider and plan for disposition of your estate.
The panel of experienced practitioners raised issues about creditors, spendthrifts, children with mental health issues, future marriages and existing offspring of a future spouse, family business concerns, and all manner of unintended consequences that can result from inaction or quick and easy plans.
What struck me the most was how much more difficult these issues are to consider and to discuss with family members than the dollars and cents of tax savings. And, thus, how tempting it is do nothing or to do something without a challenging, but essential, conversation. A perfect recipe for conflict.