by Jane Beddall on August 27, 2011
On August 25, 2011, the Hartford Courant published my letter on Elder Mediation. The previous week, on August 17, the Courant ran a Kiplinger News Service article by Erin Peterson, “Help in arriving at what’s best: specialized mediators can work with families to settle elder care disputes.” As I stated in my letter, the Courant provided a valuable public service by running the article, which explained how an elder mediator “can guide squabbling siblings and elderly parents to solutions before conflicts tear a family apart.” Carolyn Rosenblatt, a California elder mediator, noted that “‘the trigger points tend to be how money will be spent, who will take care of the elder and whether the person who wants to do the caregiving is competent to do it.’” I would add that often the person who has been taking care of an aging loved one is becoming overwhelmed and overburdened by the responsibility and a transition needs to be made.
Media coverage of elder mediation can help families to become aware that there are options that can help as they face these challenging, but common, situations.
by Jane Beddall on August 9, 2011
Last week, I needed to visit a state courthouse — somewhere I rarely see now that I am engaged solely in alternative dispute resolution. As I left, I happened to walk out behind a well-dressed, middle-aged woman striding out the door. Behind me was a well-dressed, middle-aged man. As soon as we left the building, on the sidewalk for all the world to see and hear, they caught up with each other. She slowed and turned toward him, he sped up to her. And then the raised voices began.
I wanted no part of it, and never broke stride. But it was impossible to avoid hearing their verbal confrontation: articulate, impassioned, and very public. I couldn’t tell if this blow-up was occurring between an attorney and client, between two attorneys, between two parties, or some other combination. This much was obvious: the traditional approach to dispute resolution was not working for them and their dispute had spilled onto the sidewalk.
As I went about my business, I reflected on how a private mediation session could have helped. First, they may have been able to reach a resolution that worked for them. Second, they could have taken advantage of a key hallmark of meditation: confidentiality.
Frustrations and verbal outbursts are not absent from the mediation process. But they can happen in private, instead of on a public sidewalk.