by admin on April 30, 2009
Twice in the last few weeks, I have used the term “Elder Mediation” and the person hearing it, perhaps for the first time, has assumed it meant something completely different from its true meaning.
Elder Mediation is not a term for mediating disputes that occur between two or more elderly people, about whatever topics that might be the basis for a dispute. That kind of conflict resolution can happen, of course, but it isn’t what Elder Mediation is about.
Though the term may be imperfect, it has been adopted for the area of mediation that deals with the issues related to elderly people and aging that can cause conflict for them and the people who care about them. Elder Mediation recognizes that issues around aging often provide challenges that are both unique to a particular family or group but also very common, and almost universal, as we age. That recognition allows trained Elder Mediators to develop a focus and expertise about these issues, and to develop a pool of resources (agencies, professionals, information sources) that can help elders and loved ones meet these challenges as effectively as possible.
by admin on April 30, 2009
My presentation on Elder Mediation last week at VNA Community Healthcare in Guilford was a pleasure. The room was full of professionals who work with elderly people on a daily basis. Their dedication was plain to see, not the least because they attended to learn still more about how they could serve their clients even better. The collective wisdom in the room was wide and deep, which made for a lively and interactive program.
Perhaps one of the most interesting things to me was a comment made by a non-participant. At the beginning we talked about how very common conflict is as families struggle to deal with keep aging loved ones safe, happy, and well cared for, while preserving independence and dignity. Everyone there dealt with challenging conflicts and disputes among family members on a regular basis, whether formally or informally.
It was a bit of a shock when the group heard that someone who is not in this field and has not dealt with these issues personally was surprised to hear that it is common for families to face conflict over all the issues that elder mediation touches on.
Here, I think, lies one of the challenges for elder mediation: when a family finds itself in conflict, it thinks that such problems are unusual and that mediation would never be an option for most families because they never experienced conflict. So, the family that is struggling with decisions about difficult topics also struggles with its own perceptions of itself as an unusual or somehow “bad” family.
by admin on April 20, 2009
On Tuesday, April 21, 2009, I will have the pleasure of presenting a program on Elder Mediation at VNA Community Healthcare, in Guilford, CT. The program is part of the VNA’s ongoing series of Programs for Health Professionals. The program runs from 9:00 to 10:30.
The series includes a wide variety of topics that are timely and informative. The program is in two parts. First, I will present information to help healthcare professionals learn more about this emerging field and talk about when it might be appropriate to seek the assistance of a trained elder mediator. Second, we will have an interactive discussion — taking full advantage of the collected wisdom in the room — to go through some suggested tips to help prevent, reduce, and resolve conflicts involving aging.
by admin on April 15, 2009
The New Haven Register reported today that Yale University and its unionized workers were able to reach agreement on a contract without going on strike — for the first time since 1988! No strike, no arbitration, no formal mediation. I don’t often write about labor issues, but an interview today on WPNR shed some interesting light on this achievement. A union spokesman was asked what was different this time around and his response says a lot about conflict resolution — particularly how to prevent destructive conflict from getting started in the first place.
The last contract ratified had included a provision for periodic, even frequent, meetings throughout the life of the contract between university and union counterparts. Throughout these many, regular sessions two things occurred.
First, people who might otherwise encounter each other only rarely when they weren’t sitting across the table with a strike deadline looming came to know each other and to build relationships. They had an opportunity to get to know each other a bit and to see each other’s perspective.
Second, small issues could be addressed before they became festering, growing problems that became very difficult to solve.
These lessons can be applied in many situations — in a formal contract, in an operating plan, in a company’s culture. The best way to handle destructive conflict is to prevent it in the first place.