by admin on October 31, 2009
Many, perhaps most, families find it difficult to talk about estate planning. Parents may be uncomfortable with the idea that their adult children would have any input in the planning process. Without that input, parents may make decisions that seem wise, but are based on mistaken beliefs and impressions. Some may be uncomfortable informing their heirs why they have made the plans that they have made — or even the broad outlines of what those plans are.
The October 29, 2009 New York Times special section on Wealth & Personal Finance included an article by Deborah L. Jacobs, “Clauses Aimed at Keeping the Heirs Quiet.” After reviewing recommended steps to deter will contests, it cautioned that estate planners say the best way to avoid an estate settlement conflict is to do some smart estate planning conflict prevention, “taking steps during life to preserve the peace.”
“For example, rather than leaving relatives guessing about the motives behind your decisions regarding who gets what, you may want to spell out your reasoning in your estate-planning documents — or have a frank discussion beforehand.”
The candid discussion has the advantage of not taking the heirs by surprise when the contents of the will and related documents becomes known. But the very idea of the discussion is a daunting prospect to many. A mediator can help by facilitating conversations about family wealth and, in that way, preventing family wealth conflicts.
by admin on October 27, 2009
I was scheduled to speak at Fowler Nursing Center, Guilford, CT on Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 7:00. That talk has been postponed as a precaution against H1N1. As Connecticut shoreline residents know, Guilford has been hard hit by H1N1. So many students have been struck by it, that school administrators decided to close Guilford High School for two days.
I look forward to speaking at Fowler’s soon, when administrators there conclude that it is appropriate to resume public activities. The talk will cover the concept of elder mediation and how to create customized resolutions to conflict.
by admin on October 25, 2009
On October 22, 2009 I gave a presentation on Crisis Intervention in Elder Mediation at VNA Community Healthcare in Guildford, CT. This presentation was a “return engagement” in a sense: in April, I had given an overview of elder mediation, including how it fits into mediation as a field and how it fits into the area of eldercare, elder services, or services for the aging.
This time around I was asked to address more specifically what, exactly, professionals can do when they are faced with a conflict regarding care of an elderly person that must be resolved in a very short time. We had a lively, interactive discussion enhanced by the perspectives of VNA staff, elderly housing experts, geriatric care experts, attorneys, and others.
My goal was to give these professionals two sets of tools. First, what tools can a professional use to move a difficult situation towards resolution. Second, how would a professional know when would it make sense to involve an elder mediator to help resolve a crisis. I hope that the participants felt these goals were reached.